it's hard to articulate what i felt as i watched the last three episodes of ipk. nobody had told me it would ever end. and that too this soon.
did he just say, "main chahta hoon ki tum mujhe abhi kiss karo"? i want you to kiss me right now... in that asr order giving way? i stopped breathing practically. i had forgotten where this went. i rarely watch these episodes.
so i was unprepared. i watched rapt, a part of my mind said silently... these are the last few shots of asr and khushi in the same frame. barun and sanaya together. these are so precious really. worth archiving, worth keeping in a safe place hamesha.
in episode 396, we have this sequence and in episode 398, we have the last kiss on the cheek. apart from these, i don't think there's any place where the two are together in these three episodes. doubles everywhere instead. sometimes both the doubles together in the same scene. khushi's double in a different earring... asr's double minus ring on his right hand. and in general, both of these stand ins nothing like the originals.
i wondered if ipk deserved this lack of care...
even as my mind worked and told me, nothing here was good or intelligent or funny or even watchable... it also said in a whispered layer that always played in me, just sit there and watch... this is asr and khushi... the beauty of that never diminishes. only the physical aspects of it, what can be touched, seen, heard does... but never what is felt.
they tried to make asr angry, get his gussa in. they tried to make khushi batty and bring in the sanka.
i felt like saying, "enough!" i felt like screaming, "koi matlab nahin."
these scenes were shot at a chaotic point in time, as fans raged, production house tried to absolve itself of all responsibility, channel confirmed nothing and tried to shut fans up with banks of telephone operators who gave the most ridiculous answers (my favourite: i also like barun sobti so much, i am also a fan, ma'am), and we all knew with a sense of deathly certainty, it's over. we would not be seeing barun and sanaya, asr and khushi ever again.
i had certainly not planned to let a show matter so much to me. any show, hindi, english, swahili, klingon. okay, the klingons have this way of staying in the memory and making me miss vulcans... but that apart.
really, how could a show matter so much?
sometimes hows have no answers. nor whys. nor what thes.
in those very few shots of the two of them together, i again felt their power. it's as if the rest of the ridiculousness just fades away, all you see feel touch hear know imbibe is these two.
a lithe young man, not too tall... but always that dominance in his frame, that stance which made you look and made looking away difficult.
a slim almost waif like girl with not the largest eyes or most perfect face... a bit too thin maybe and not exactly short, who was lovely and genuinely dotty and you had to shake your head and grin with her.
now they were quarreling and kissing.
no. they were not kissing. asr was on a trip... he was going to teach khushi how to say "no." ah these reaching out in frenzy and grabbing whatever one can get to get an episode going, some yarn, some tattered threads... if you have to grab, i say, do it like asr... be focused even in disarray...
my poor teep taap bootiphool: lauki??? me-too khushi move tch tch.
not this: mami with lauki doing an almost acceptance speech, mami/nk/nani/di all begging to go with khushi, natasha being the misunderstood good girl who finds her way again thanks to khushi (oh how wonderfully saas bahu serial), amrita the good girl turning out to be oh so bad (remember shyam? he too was friend who had that foe-ish smile), and of course ria and jay a couple in a mess, which khushi just might have fixed, but i guess they ran short of time...
or maybe they were planning for more time, since asr was going to die.
he says it to her somewhere again, should she be alone, she should know how to handle things.
maybe 398 was not supposed to be the end... till the very last minute.
i really don't know... i often feel, it was all about the beginning with them. that first episode. a man with an attitude. a girl with a dori...
a rush toward each other. arnav singh raizada whose name means ocean. khushi kumari gupta whose name signifies happiness.
it is unfortunate that these two were not allowed to even have a last shot together at the end... flashbacks had to suffice. many of which are sitting pretty or striding tall and angry through me right now.
"main chahta hoon ki tum mujhe abhi kiss karo!"
haw, how can you say that, arnav ji.
"arnav ji, agar aap nahin hote... toh kaise pata chalta ke pyaar kya hota hai..."
arnav ji, if you weren't there... how would i have known what love is.
what love is... after a long long time a simple serial on television came along to show us what that is... how powerful that is... how that is all that we really want in life... how that is more important than everything, certainly money... and it is perhaps faith and worship itself. in a language we all got... and minus any of the usual soupy heavy pontificating which does such disservice to this mad bad super essential feeling...
a terrible sadness as it all moved relentlessly toward the last frame.
"paas nahin toh usska yeh matlab nahin ki saath nahin..."
not near doesn't mean not with you, said asr from behind ghastly wings in red and yellow, looking pretty scruffy. i wanted to rush to him with a comb and yell at him for not looking his smashing dapper self... i wanted to stalk up to khushi on that ramp and tie her hair in an off centre plait, remove the bump and heavy make up, then march them up to each other and say, go on, fall... fall into his arms right now, samjhi tum.
this weird love (i believe that's what ipk is called in turkey) thank g, no one knows how to give it a name... otherwise how would we have an iss pyaar ko kya naam doon?
over and out... indi.
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fanfiction
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